Five questions to ask yourself about your lover

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Wednesday, 11 February 2015 16:33

Five questions to ask yourself about your lover

Written by Uki MacIsaac

The invitation is not to find fault, but to examine your own soul’s architecture and that of your partner. Asking the questions below may not always result in clear and concise answers, but you will gain deeper understanding about the level of resonance between the two of you.

1. Do we feel physically attracted to each other, is there an erotic spark between us?
This first one seems to be an easy one, especially when we have just ‘fallen in love’. Erotic attraction can be all-consuming, even blinding us to other factors that will become more important once this initial spark has quieted down. In long-lasting healthy relationships physical attraction often takes backstage to other characteristics of your love connection. However, if eroticism has become dormant or even absent over the years, one or both of the partners may feel a need to seek erotic polarity outside of the relationship.

2. Are we both practicing a healthy lifestyle on both the physical and the emotional level?

Be honest with yourself and your partner! Yes, there is probably always room for improvement, but it’s not about perfection. Awareness and predominantly healthy choices are the key. Willingness to seek help in case of imbalance makes a difference in the quality of your relationship.

3. How do we handle conflict? Are we empowered to resolve crisis and return to love?

How willing is either of you to admit wrongs and make amends? How important is it to be right, no matter what? Listening with an open heart, giving up the need to control, evaluating all options for conflict resolution can make or break a relationship.

4. Aside from our love connection, do we have healthy relationships with family and friends?

This is a tricky one, since some of us might feel disconnected from our family of origin or even consciously choose distance from some family members. Look at the quality of friendships in your life and that of your partner? How much energy does each of you invest in your meaningful relations?

5. Is this person honoring my values and beliefs? Are they aware of their soul’s purpose and committed to spiritual growth?

Again, this question invites you to do some soul searching. How much are you in touch with your innermost self? Do you feel a sense of direction in your life, and do you share your core beliefs with your partner? In case of significant differences, can you confirm the presence of respect, appreciation and support that serve as a solid foundation for your love?

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